Days 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, & 90 – Thur 11.11.2010 to Sun 11.21.2010

AN AMERICAN [FAMILY ]IN [THE] PARIS [OF SOUTH AMERICA]

(Buenos Aires and its surrounds)

Somehow the trap worked. We`re still not exactly sure how they fell for it... the usual batting of eyelashes, some gushing about family unity, perhaps a little begging... But in the end, we succesfully tricked Joseph´s parents into flying to Buenos Aires, renting an apartment for 10 days, and taking us out to dinner. Goodbye nalgene and carabiner backpacker lifestyle, hello ¨why yes, I would like to see the dessert menu.¨

But such luxury does not come cheap. We had to work for our privileges, serving as tour guides, map readers, excursion planners, simultaneous interpreters, and menu translators. Joseph was able to handle a little bit of the work himself, but of course most of these tasks fell on Victoria, the resident Porteña. She very quickly came to regret ever having associated herself with these people, but at this point she was stuck.

For Joseph and lil` bro Jakey, this visit marked the first occasion in which parents Alan and Neda actually listened to their sons. A special thanks to the old folks for taking us seriously when we said not to dress like a tourist. They looked quite urban and sophisticated with a silk scarf (Ma) and an ivy cap (Pa). Lest you think they behaved the entire time, let me add that for some reason they inisted on taking out their cameras every time they got on a subway, much to the frustration of their mugger-fearing sons.

We took the opportunity to do a lot of the more touristy stuff we´d been too lazy to do before. Lots of neighborhood walking, seeing the big sights. Some highlights of what you do in Buenos Aires when your parents are visiting for the first time:

-- Tigre on the weekend. A beautiful port area in the delta area north of the city. The Puerto de Frutos market is endlessly entertaining (good place to get a gourd), the boat ride around the delta is stunning, and the architecture of the rowing clubs is worth 1000 photographs. Joseph´s Pa took all 1000 of them.

-- Recoleta cemetery. Cue the requisite offensive pictures imitating the statues that grieving family members tirelessly labored to have erected, in an effort to permanently memorialize the loss of their loved ones. Time heals all wounds, or something.

-- San Telmo market. A street full of traditional knickknackerías. Some nice antiques, some art, some cool leather, some good crafts, and some real bargains. Joseph's personal hell.

-- Architectural tour with Eternautas. Highly recomended, especially if you can get Analía as a guide. Downtown BA is a goldmine for interesting architecture. The tour discussed the city's relationship with European architecture in the early 20th century, during Argentina's economic boom. Many of the architects were European, and many designed their works from abroad without even coming to visit the sites. The monumental-style bank buildings from this period are particularly striking. Some debate emerged about the merit of the later brutalist styles and the crap that has been built in the redeveloped Puerto Madero area. A stimulating couple of hours.

-- Jewish tour with Eternautas. Not recomended, especially if your guide doesn't know anything. At least we got inside some of the tight security at the synagogues.

-- Chicago. Se dice que las luces de neón son brillantes en Corrientes. Especially at the Spanish-language performance of Chicago, starring as Velma one Mela Lenoir, a high school mate of Victoria's. Quite the excellent performance. We got a picture with the star after the show.

-- The requisite tango show, Cafe Tortoni. We could've done without the script, but the dancing and the live music were both increible.

-- Colonia, Uruguay. A quick ferry jump across the "Rio" de la Plata (looks like an estuary to me...) from BA lies an old pile of Uruguayan stones, some tile roofs, an pretty gardens. Welcome to Colonia. A lovely day trip, and a nice place for some photographs. This historic town bears the distinction of having been conquistadored and reconquistadored by the Spanish and Portuguese 2300 times, or something thereabouts. Here are the old folks in their natural habitat (at right).



-- Palacio de las Aguas Corrientes.

The fascinating collection of the inner tubing that brought BA its first running water back in the day. The museum is worth a quick visit. Come for the historic topographical maps, stay for the toilet display.

-- The Victoria Neiman tour of Zona Norte. The get-away of wealthy BA residents since way back when, Zona Norte (i.e., "the north area") is made up of some beautiful neighborhoods where little Victoria spent most of her days. We were fortunate enough to get an inside tour of the old family abode in Olivos (new roof, new family, and new kitchen) and of Victoria's high school, the preppy prepmongering prepfactory that is the Saint Andrew's Scots School.