Day 31 - Thur 9.23.10
JUANITA VERSUS THE VOLCANO

Upon the happy couple´s grand return to Arequipa and downgrade to hostel #2 (after slightly pissing off the owners of hostel #1... long story, but basically all Victoria´s fault), they started the day off strong by sleeping in late. Hey, come on... they climbed 1100 consecutive vertical meters yesterday, and only consumed about 3 times the calories needed to do so. This travelling business is hard work.

Three goals for the day:
(1) Go visit Arequipa´s mummy, aka Juanita,
(2) Visit the Arequipa cathedral.
(3) Reconnect with the new friends they made while hiking in the Colca Canyon.

First up, the mummy. Arequipa is located in a dry, high plain about halfway between the mountains and the coast, but the area is dotted with enormous volcanoes (volcanos? where´s Dan Quayle when you need him...) that erupt from time to time. Evidently these eruptions were of some concern and significance to ¨la cultura eeeeeeeeeeeenka¨ (i.e., the Inkas). To keep the deities happy and to keep the volcanoes more or less in line, young children were taken to the top of the volcanoes from time to time, drugged, and clubbed on the head. That makes total sense. Anyway, several grave sites have been found atop nearby volcanoes, and some incredibly preserved artifacts from the sites are on display in Arequipa. The girl-mummy on display, nicknamed Juanita, was only unearthed a few years ago, and, incredibly enough, only hot ash from a nearby eruption melted the ice in which the mummy was preserved. The mummy was found about 50 meters down the mountain from its initial spot, as it had rolled downhill after the melt. Other than some damage from the fall and the resultant 2 weeks of sun exposure, the body is in otherwise perfect condition. Pretty cool stuff, and somewhat gruesome. Victoria was especially impressed that, for her very first time in Peru, someone at a museum explained what the artifacts were and where they were found.

Second, the cathedral. Failure. After planning to visit it literally every day Victoria and Joseph had been in Arequipa, they of course leave it for the last hour of the last day, only to find that it is closed in observance of La Dia de La Juventud. Hmph. Stupid youths. Always ruin everything.

Third, we´d crossed paths a few times with our new friends John and Monika during our Colca Canyon trek, and actually managed to see them again in Arequipa. Please note that, had it not been for Joseph´s massive stomach tumult at the oasis and the ensuing delay, we would have never reconnected. And -- Joseph writing here -- the stomach cramps and the projectile vomiting were well worth the friendship. John and Monika, if you´re reading this, thank you for hanging out with us, and we´d very much like to be you. There, we said it. We´re not afraid of expressing our emotions. Monika is Czech, John is Australian-of-Czech-origin, they met on a ski lift in Germany (swear to god...), and they are among the coolest people we know. Did we mention that John is a pilot?

Next up: Puno, Lake Titicaca, Bolivia, then the rest of South America. Stay tuned. It gets better... and a whole lot cheaper (Bolivian exchange rate!!).

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Day 27 - Sun 9.19.10 - EL CÓNDOR PASARÁ
Day 28 - Mon 9.20.10 - EL CÓNDOR PASÓ?
Day 29 - Tues 9.21.10 - DONDE ESTA EL CÓNDOR?
Day 30 - Wed 9.22.10 - CÓNDOR PUTO... QUE PAIS DE MIERDA.

We started our day at the ungodly hour of 2:45. A. M. Why? Somewhat unclear, but we were told it was to arrive at Cruz del Condor by 8am, supposedly when the alleged condors presumably ride the purported hot air currents high above the Colca Canyon. No condors were sighted in the making of this 3 day trek. We don´t believe in condors.

We do believe in the Colca Canyon, however, as we saw it up close and personal. It has a unique way of being very steep and very dusty, even as canyons go, but beautiful nonetheless. We spent the first 5 hours traversing the knee-breaking path down the southern face of the canyon, and the next 2 undoing our precious efforts by climbing up the other side. This senseless exercise was repeated on several occasions over the course of the next few days, as we thoughtless followed the ebullient Peruvian leprechaun we called our guide. Lest we sound jaded, the canyon terrain was astonishing and well worth the exertion.

The first night was spent at the beautiful Llahuar lodge, featuring ¨thermo-medicinal¨ hot springs, slatted bamboo architecture, and its trademark inclined beds. After all, everybody hates having to choose WHEN you get out of bed, no?

The second afternoon featured the oasis at Sangalle... palm trees, swimming pools, hammocks, the works. It was so bucolic that Victoria wished she had an extra day to fully enjoy it. Joseph, ever dutiful, took the initiative in granting her wish by contracting a hideous intestinal virus, assuring that their vertical ascent up the canyon face would have to wait another 24 hours. Victoria thanked Joseph, as he vomited lovingly all over an unsuspecting cactus.

After a day of compulsory rest, we set out at 5am for the 3.5 hour nonstop climb. Breakfast in Cabanaconde was just that good, we heard, so we had to make it there before the freaking sun was visible over the canyon walls. Again, why? Not sure. Between whimpers and the crunching of trail mix, we managed to appreciate the incredible views and bid farewell to the Cañon del Colca.




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Day 26 - Sat 9.18.10
FAST TIMES IN AREQUIPA

Today was a difficult, yet rewarding, day. ¨Difficult¨ because we did the customary Yom Kippur fast; ¨rewarding¨ because we got to lounge around on the beautiful rooftop terrace at our hostel, read King Lear and Garcia Marques (Joseph and Victoria, respectively) and then break the fast at Chicha, Peruvian celebrity chef Gaston Acurio´s fancy Arequipa restaurant. Besides the obvious contemplative and spiritual significance of fasting, I must say that it was lovely to spend 24 hours without shovelling oodles of fried food into our faces. Our stomachs (and Victoria´s thighs) considered it a welcome respite.

... Too bad that we managed to make up for our good behavior with a ridiculously decadent meal at Chicha. We were wondering where Peru was hiding all the amazing, seasonal, Latin-fusion cuisine that we have been hearing and reading about for months, and today we finally found it. It was tucked away in a colonial courtyard in downtown Arequipa. We got as spiffed-up as we could manage, considering we each have only one pair of jeans and 3 t-shirts to our name, and waltzed into the establishment. We were conspicuously seated in the plastic-table-and-chair-section (understandable, given our backpacker-chic appearance) but luckily, the menu was the same as in the overrated we-have-tablecloths-and-don´t-smell-like-llama section. A pisco sour, maracya mojito, order of sauteed beef spring rolls, pesto bean salad, spiced rack of lamb, osso bucco ravioli and a trio of classic Peruvian desserts later, we rolled back to our hotel feeling fat and sassy - which was quite a feat, since our hotel was uphill from the restaurant.

Day 25 - Fri 9.17.10
VEGETARIANOS!!

Not much was blog-worthy today (magificent colonial architecture, beautiful cobblestones streets... the usual), except for one hilarious incident during lunch. We were minding our own business, drinking our coffee and enjoying a sandwich that optimistically called itself ¨caprese,¨ when we heard a disturbance at the table next to us. It appears that there was some kind of exchange between the obviously foreign patrons and their waitress, which prompted her to run towards the kitchen with the cry of ¨vegetarianos!!¨

After the requisite 5 minutes needed to compose ourselves, and a near case of scalding-coffee-ejected-from-nose, we concluded that what we had just witnessed was the perfect embodiment of our experiences in Peru thus far: a portly Peruvian woman recoiling in terror and fleeing from the scene, leaving a group of llama-hat-clad, zip-off-pant-wearing, Lonely-Planet-toting, coffee-scrutinizing vegetarians to scratch their heads and wonder what they did to illicit such a response from the locals.

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Day 24 - Thurs 9.16.10

GET THEE TO A NUNNERY

Today we got to know Arequipa. Gorgeous colonial mansions, white stone cathedrals and a very lively central square. We spent most of the day walking around, until it was time to

see the Monasterio de Santa Catalina, a massive citadel built in the mid 1500´s to house 300+ nuns who had taken a vow of

silence, and the crown jewel of the city. Two days a week, the monastery stays open after dark in order for visitors to appreciate it as it was back in t

he day - endless corridors, tiny little candle-lit cells, lanterns guiding the way around every corner and lit fireplaces in every communal kitchen.
We went in at around 5pm and got to wander around and see the place both in the daytime and after sundown. It was really an incredible experience. It was also a lot more colorful than we´d expected. It´s common to see houses painted in either bright royal blue or brick red,

apart from the predominant white of the regional Arequipa stone, and it seems that not a single surface in the monastery was left unpainted. It also twists and turns like a medieval village, where you suddenly walk into a chapel or enormous vaulted sitting room. It was well worth the few hours we spent there, and probably one of the most amazing places we´ve ever visited. It´s really worth doing a quick image search and seeing for yourselves.

We also took it upon ourselves to cook the first meal of the trip (since our hostal has a shared kitchen) and to have a much-needed taste of home. Though we were somewhat limited by the ingredients we could find at the grocery store, we proceeded nonetheless, undeterred. Peppers, onions, peas, broccoli, quinoa, ginger and soy sauce. Um... I guess we´ll make an Asian stir fry?

Though I will not go into the tragic outcome of this meal, I will make one very important point about Peru. Nothing is what it seems. Nothing tastes the way you expect it to. Not even bottled soy sauce. Leave it to the locals. Fine - four very important points.

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Day 23 - Wes 9.15.10
ON THE ROAD AGAIN

Today we finally left Cusco, out home base for the last 12 days. The bus ride was uncomfortable and bumpy, as usual, but much better than the ride from the coast. Also, as usual, Joseph spent most of trip reading, and Victoria spent some of it wishing she could read on moving vehicles and the rest of it drooling onto her inflatable travel pillow.

We arrived in Arequipa by around 7pm and checked into our fabulous Hostal del Cacique, featuring sunny rooms, a rooftop terrace, a shared kitchen and an inexplicably happy 4 month-old named Antonella. We like it here. We don´t, however, like the vegetarian restaurant next door, where we subjected ourselves to the worst meal so far on the trip. Corn chowder, curried vegetables and mushroom salad. Not so bad, right? Unless it all came out of a can that´s been sitting in your pantry since 1976. Mmm-mmmm.

We redeemed ourselves with dessert, however. Amazing nutella crepes and coffee at Istanbul Cafe.

Oh, and Arequipa isn´t too shabby either.

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Day 22 - Tues 9.14.10

SALT SALT EVERYWHERE AND NOT A PINCH TO DRINK

Lots o´ruins. Ollantaytambo fortress is quite steep, certainly a site to behold. It don´t hold a candle to what we´d already seen, so we rushed through it rather rushedly.

From there, we hired a taxi for the day to ferry us to Moray and Salinas. Back UP the south side of the valley, into the middle of nowhere (hence the taxi), and then all of a sudden there are these enormous terraced bowls jutting down into the ground. This is Moray. Concentric rings of terraces with steps built into each wall, a total of about 100 ft. or more. It looks alien, it looks religious, it looks somewhat unbelievable... but mostly it looks like an experimental Inca agricultural station likely used to acclimate crops to higher altitudes, by slowly moving crops up from the microclimate created at the bottom of each terraced bowl. That´s our theory, at least... which is largely based on the information we could gather from slowly walking by groups that actually paid for guides.

Last stop: Salinas. Salt mines, used from Inca times to the present. Quite otherworldly -- some small streams coming out of the mountainside, then hundreds upon hundreds of small pools of different shades of white where the water is left to evaporate. For some ungodly reason, even the people who are still working in the pools are cool with having tourists like us walk gingerly through the site, accidentally knocking dirt into their preciously-extracted salt. What is probably NOT allowed is hiding on a small outcropping of rock above the pools and making a bunch of crumbs trying to assemble your cheese-avocado-carrot sandwich. Not that we did that. The irony of all ironies was that what our sandwiches most needed was... you guessed it...

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Day 21 - Mon 9.13.10

TAKE ANOTHER LITTLE PISAC MY HEART

On their own again, Victoria and Joseph set out to explore the other major Inca sites in the Sacred Valley. While organized 1 day bus tour to most of the sites are easy to come by (and cheap), they decide that real travellers would look down upon anything offering climate-controlled travel and tour guides with microphones. They really want to be real travellers. They same some real travellers once, and they looked cool. So they decide to venture out on their own, guideless and with only their wits (and public transportation) to save them.

First up, the ruins above the town of Pisac. After a death defying minibus ride over the river, through the woods, etc. etc. and into the Sacred Valley, they arrive at Pisac. A beautiful market town, with some pretty sweet alpaca-felt hats, fuzzy alpaca sneakers, and an impressive music store with a collection of charangos. What is a charango, you ask. A 10-string Peruvian instrument traditionally made from... what else... a small marsupial, i.e., an armadillo. Diego, if you´re reading this, thank you very much for the wonderful suggestion for our blog title,

and we have received your request for a charango. Unfortunately, due to transportation-space constraints (see third paragraph below) we were unable to process your request. Victoria is a bad sister. She knows it, and she feels bad about it.

Where was I? Yes, Pisac. They took a taxi up to the top of the mountainside and spent the next 4 hours making our way down slowly around the curving cliffs and hills, between awesome, i.e. awe-inspiring, fortresses, wonderfully preserved Inca terraces, irrigation channels, tunnels cut through the rock, etc. Truly an incredible place to visit. If you should find yourself with only ONE day in Peru, you should go to Machu Picchu. If you have a second day, you´ll probably want to eat somewhere in Cuzco, and find some coffee (see our struggle, infra, Days 1 to 20). If you have a third day, ABSOLUTELY go to Pisac.

Did Victoria and Joseph eat anything in Pisac? Of course. For some reason, cooking an small empanada in Pisac requires a clay oven the size of a Volkswagen Beatle, and such ovens are ubiquitous in Pisac. The empanadas that come from such oversize ovens are very good.

Next up: the trip down the valley to Ollantaytambo. They took ¨one bus... and another bus...¨ and a mototaxi and then a small bus at about double its earthly capacity, with the unhappy pair stuffed into a space about the size of... well, let´s just say that it was much smaller than a clay oven in Pisac. It was really crammed. It was uncomfortable. After 20 minutes of this, once both Victoria and Joseph lost feeling in their legs, they recalled with chagrin their passing up the option of climate-controlled busses and tour guides with microphones. Whatever. What doesn´t kill you makes you stronger. Or, as they say in Catalonia, lo que no mata, engorda.

Evening: Ollantaytambo, a hostel with a lot of cats, and a DVD of the movie Big Fish. Nice little town, small streets still from Inca times, with accompanying water channels next to the sidewalks. And god bless foreigners who come to Peru and open restaurants. We salute you.

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Day 20 - Sun 9.12.10

THINGS TO DO IN CUZCO WHEN YOU´RE DEAD

The morning consisted of a Peruvian sendoff brunch for Sabrina & Umberto, who were heading back to their real lives with a day´s stop over in Lima. Their presence will be sorely missed, and their absence will be felt like a removed liver. Thanks for joining us, Sabrina and Alberto. Following in the grand Peruvian sendoff brunch tradition, the coffee was bad, service was nonexistent, the ketchup was tomato jam, and the food was oddly-spiced.

Now you may be thinking: If these people are supposed to be backpacking and roughing it on $25 per day, why is there all this interminable complaining about food and drink? Don´t these people have anything better to concern themselves with?

(1) Quick answer: No, not really.

(2) More cultured answer: Joseph and Victoria spent the rest of the day exploring Cuzco´s panoply of museums. In particular, the Museo de Historia Regional, the museum of the Qoricancha site, and the Museo del Arte Popular. Joseph enjoyed the photos from turn of the century Cuzco. Victoria explained the art to Joseph.

(3) Honest answer: These museums were included in the boleto tursitico (tourist ticket) that Joseph and Victoria had to buy to visit the nearby Inca sites, so they only visited these museums because they were free. Joseph also took a break from the extrenuating 3 hours of museum time to get himself an ice cream cone. Hey, come on... the city actually has a street named after ice cream vendors. Seriously. Heladeros. Look it up.

On the subject of high culture and histo...er... food, decent take-out falafel is available in Cuzco. Or at least it was on Sunday night.

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Day 19 - Sat 9.11.10
ÁNDALE CARAJO!

The highlight of today was our somewhat pathetic attempt to view the Peruvian countryside as it was meant to be experienced: atop a beast of burden that diligently obeys one´s every command, at times strolling at a leisurely pace, at others galloping to our heart´s content. We did as we were told and took a taxi back to the top of Sacsaywaman (or ¨sexy woman,¨ as we have come to know it) and went to one of the many horse ranches found behind the ruins. Everything went very smoothly - a little too smoothly. Especially if you ask Rodrigo (Sabrina´s boyfriend is known by many names), the unwitting author of today´s blog title.

We left the ranch and spent most the next 20 minutes going directly uphill, much to the dismay, panting and excessive sweating of the horses. By the way, it is worth noting that Victoria´s horse was uniquely prepared for the task, because, as our guide mentioned several times and with much derision, he is reserved for particularly heavy loads and strenuous activity. Nervermind that Joseph (who is several pounds heavier than Victoria, by the way) got the scrawny little pack leader, or that Sabrina (who is a miniature woman) got a gargantuan beast twice the size of Victoria´s... Why must Victoria insist on visiting places where people regard her as a freakish Amazon? In Peru, much like in Japan and China, she has been asked to pose and take pictures with the locals for no other reason than the fact that she could eat them for breakfast. Actually, I guess that is somewhat picture-worthy...

But I digress. After finishing the uphill, we enjoyed about 30min of peaceful caravan-style walking, a stop at a generic pile of fallen rocks kindly referred to as ruins by the 12 year-old ¨guide,¨ and were forced to return to the ranch. The horses seem to have been attached to invisible tracks hidden under the Andean soil, because they where absolutely impossible to divert from the trail or predetermined order of animals. We didn´t realize that Epcot Center included a detour through the Andes.

Day 18 - Fri 9.10.10

A LACK OF UPWARD MOBILITY SETS IN

To even things out from the massive physical
exertion and incredible sightseeing of the past 4 days, Friday was primarily spent thinking about, discussing, consuming, and digesting food. A strong preference was given to meals that did not involve walking up or down steps of any kind. A slight exception was made for Cusco´s best empanadas. We also toured the Qoricancha temple - once an Inca temple, then a colonial era Catholic church built atop the Inca walls. The building once housed over 700 sheets of solid gold covering most of its interior surfaces, but, in grand conquistador tradition, the Spanish determined that the ornate golden artwork should be stripped for safekeeping.

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Day 17 - Thur 9.9.10

WE WENT TO MACHU PICCHU

If you´ve ever been there, you´ll understand. If you haven´t, you really should try to make it one of these days. In modern day American college speak, it was the COOLEST THING E-V-E-R. Really mind-blowing, mind-expanding, and mind-your-head because ancient Incas were actually quite short.

This posting doesn´t do it justice, of course, but our pictures hopefully will (more to come).





























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Days 14, 15, and 16 - Mon, Tues, and Wed 9.6, 9.7, 9.8.10

WHINING AND DINING IN THE SACRED VALLEY

Imagine - after having been dropped off in a minibus at the end of a muddy road in the middle of a cow pasture an hour away from Cusco, and then spending the next 8 hours climbing almost exclusively up the sheer sides of some of the largest, steepest, most expansive, and most beautiful valleys you have ever laid eyes on (not counting that time you watched Seven Years in Tibet), you arrive at a lake that is fed by a waterfall trickling down the face of a red mountain with snow capped peaks occasionally visible behind the clouds that are forming not far above you - you see that the 5 guides have already set up your tent for you and are currently boiling water for you to wash your face and drink tea when you arrive. Add to the mix a pack of grazing llamas and horses, a portable toilet tripod chair-tent, and all-you-can-eat soup, and that pretty much describes our 3 day hike. The vivid images in our heads speak for themselves. We will try to download a few of those from our brains for you to look at as well.

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Day 13 - Sun 9.5.10

I THINK I CAN I THINK I CAN I THINK I CAN JUST SIT HERE AND CATCH YOU ON THE WAY BACK DOWN

After a traditional Peruvian breakfast of brunch, the couple of couples promptly sat down to watch some other people eat falafel. Translate: Joseph and Victoria`s friend David Dreyfus, of Habitat for Humanity Bicycle Challenge fame, and his wife Natalie, came all the way to Cusco have lunch in front of us. They then figured that, since they were in town, they would also check out the nearby Amazon, the Sacred Valley, and something called Machu Picchu.

But I digress. Today the fab four set out to climb the 150 meters up to ruins of Sacsayhuayman, overlooking the city of Cusco. Defying all ordinary principles of momentum, acceleration, and physical fitness, the feat was accomplished at the embarrassing pace of roughly 1m per minute. The trip was well worth it, though, if for nothing else than to see a small Mexican man (Roberto) stand next to a 300 ton stone. The structure of the great fortress was originally built to represent the head and teeth of Cusco`s puma-shaped layout, but to be honest that requires a keen perception that perhaps only the Incas themselves possessed.

The evening included a briefing for the upcoming 3-day trek, where we met our guide-to-be Flor and the Catalonians who would provide us with hours of endless amusement. Note: they are not Spaniards... they´re very clear about that, upon penalty of getting-your-head-talked-off-for-3-hours-about-Catalonian-independence-while-you´re-really-just-trying-to-enjoy-your-quinoa-pancake-and-go-to-sleep-because-you´re-at-4200-meters-and-you-have-to-wake-up-at-6-am-to-climb-500-more-tomorrow. Ahem.

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Day 12 - Sat 9.4.10

ARRIVAL OF THE FITTEST

Overwhelmed by their collective filth, Victoria and Joseph resolve to have a small Peruvian woman wash their clothes, in exchange for valid Peruvian legal tender. For many of you this might not be news. For them, this is groundbreaking. Despite a small squabble over the actual weight of the items being washed (there was reasonable evidence to support the theory that her scale was doctored), the transaction is carried out successfully. Stray Cusco dogs no longer scramble when Victoria and Joseph pass by.

This day also marks the beginning of the "we have guests coming over, so behave" portion of the trip. The couple`s friends Sabrina and Eduardo unwittingly flew in from Howard Beach BOAC and didn`t get to bed last night, and now have 10 horrid days ahead of them accompanying Victoria and Joseph on their miserable trip. God help them. The couple of couples immediately went out to have themselves a nice brunch, coffee, afternoon snack, nap, stroll, and overindulgent dinner (see also, days 13 through 20). They also talked about the possibility of seeing some of Cusco`s sights, but the discussions fell apart when all of the participants fell asleep.

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Day 11 - Fri 9.3.10

I´LL PACK A HAT

Armed with fancy imported crackers (Ritz) and local citrus nectar (Fanta), we boarded the 9:30 am chariot out of Abancay bound for Cusco, with a potential stop at the Tarawasi ruins near the town of Limatambo. After an exhilarating 1 hour ride up the Abancay valley, with vast & gorgeous scenery (including the perfunctory Rio-style Jesus on the hill overlooking the town, which seems to be required by law in all Peruvian towns) and a vast and gorgeous ear of choclo (corn) from a woman on the side of the road, we deplaned at the not-so-famous aforementioned ruins.


What Tarawasi is to Peru, that old train bridge you can see off of I95 in Maryland is to the United States. But it was our first taste of Inca craftsmanship, and the stonework was worth the detour. After getting our fill and seeing all there was to see, we were approached by the caretaker of the site who... gave us a tour of the site. Something about an Inca ceremonial bath.

From there, the 23rd cab that drove by finally stopped to pick us up and deliver us to Cusco. Quite a lovely city. So lovely, in fact, that we are still there a week and a half later, at the time of this writing. We finally had acceptable coffee, we finally had our raw salad, and we finally made the big leap into the upper echelon of backpacker haute couture by purchasing alpaca hats.

Enough.

Llama trek

I know we´re breaking form here by skipping a few days... Forgive us. We are about to embark on a 3-day trek in the Sacred Valley area and then visit Machu Picchu (Macchu Pichu? No se) on Thursday. Just to make you a little jealous, the details of the trek are here: http://www.aventours.com/adventures/huallanay3d3n.html

If you read the above, one clarification/disappointment. It turns out the llamas won´t be carrying our stuff (horses will), but we are told that we will have llamas walking with us. Just keeping us company, evidently. Local Inca lore advises that keeping a llama with you at all times helps keep the land sharks at bay.

Day 10 - Thurs 9.2.10
ANDAHUAYLAS? ANDAHUAYLAST-NIGHT-WAS-SPENT-ON-A-BUS? ANDAHUAY-NOT?

12:00 am - Somewhere muddy, east of Ayacucho. Victoria asleep. Joseph listening to Crosby Stills & Nash´s Wooden Ships.

3:00 am - Somewhere even muddier. Victoria and Joseph eating plantain chips.

6:00 am - In the miserably cold bus terminal at Andahuaylas. Peruvians seem to be immune to rain, cold, or mud. We, unfortunately, are not.

9:00 am - Driving in a minibus, on dirt roads, in the rain, trying not to imagine how far the drop off is, it being obscured by the fact that we are literally in a cloud. We share a bench seat with perhaps the most energetic Peruvian child in history, who spends most of the ride singing, hanging out the window (which did not seem to disturb his mother) and screaming into the driver´s ear.

3:00 pm - Arrive in Abancay, refuse to get on another bus. Eat a large lunch. This town ain´t all it´s cracked up to be.

9:00 pm - Purchase cereal & milk. Consume. Repeat.

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Day 9 - Wed 9.1-10
MUSEUM NINE-AND-THREE-QUARTERS

Today we spent the day wandering around lovely Ayacucho, by far the most lively and interesting place we´ve visited so far. It was one of the last Inca strongholds before the Spanish took over, so there´s a great mix of indigenous structures and colonial buildings with hundreds of little courtyards to slip into and feel like you´ve gone back in time and should be wearing pantaloons and a feather in your cap. And a thin little mustache.

We had two quests for the day: to find a real cup of coffee (not instant) and to go to the Museo de Arte Popular (the museum of ¨Arte Popular¨). Both were tragic failures.

Rant #1: We know for a fact that Peruvian coffee is good. We´ve had it before in New York. They grow it all over the place and we´ve probably driven by a few coffee farms in the last week. And yet, most most of it is exported to other countries, and the locals don´t even know what you mean when you ask for drip coffee made from beans. This is a travesty. These people deserve more. We are spreading the gospel of espresso, one confused and slightly annoyed looking waitress at a time.

Rant #2: The Museo de Arte Popular is a hoax. It does not exist. We spent over an hour going on a pathetic scavenger hunt around the city, asking guards, office workers and small children where it was, all of which responded with a confident assertion that it was in the direction from which we came - you know, on that corner right over there. We are beginning to think that art isn´t popular at all in Ayacucho. Either that or it´s only accessible to Hogwarts students...


Much to our dismay, that night we boarded another bus at 7pm, set to arrive in Andahuaylas at 6am the next morning. We weren´t excited about it. In fact, given the terrain on the way here from Paracas, we were scared guano-less. The one redeeming factor was the lively teenage folk band that serenaded Victoria at the bus terminal and offered to steal her away from her American companion. After much consideration, she politely declined.

PS: We enjoyed the company of both live lambs and chicks on our bus. They all handled the ride better than Victoria did.

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Day 8 - Tues 8.31.10
ODE TO THE PERUVIAN BUS DRIVER

We´re working on it. We have 25 hours of experience to account for. Coming soon.

Day 7 - Mon 8.30.10

GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT (on a boat, beneath hundreds of well-fed birds)

Today day we woke up early for a 30 minute boat ride out to the Islas Ballestas, with a short stop at El Candelabro, the enormous carving of a three-pronged candelabrum found on the side of a sandy cliff that can only be seen from the water. It's origins are unknown, but theories of it's use range from alien landing strips to a tribute to San Martin (the Argentine general that liberated Peru in the early 1800's). Regardless, it is quite imposing.

Then we went to the islands themselves, gigantic white rocks rising out of nowhere and swarming with wildlife. To name a few, we saw penguins, sea lions , jumbo-pelicans (not their scientific name), seagulls and dozens of other types of



birds. The variety was really incredible, as was the generous layer of guano coating the entire islans complex. There is a company that devotes itself entirely to the collection of guano as fertilizer. They have men stationed on the islands year-round in 15-day shifts, shovelling poop and contemplating the state of their lives... As luck would have it, just as she was quitely celebrating the fact that she would leave the islands untouched by bird droppings, as if guided by Murphy himself, a jumbo pelican decided to give Victoria a jumbo parting gift. It is worth mentioning that she was the only person on the boat to enjoy the honor. We have a picture to prove it (see right).

Next was the Reserva Nacional. Several thousand hectares of sand dunes, marshes cliffs and beaches. Stunning and well worth the trip. Victoria found a sea lion vertebrae that she promptly pocketed, and Joseph enjoyed the best ceviche so far on the trip, despite the envious pelicans circling around us like vultures.

Oh, and that night we left our deceitful hostel for greener pastures across the street. We finally got our hot shower, and put ourselves to sleep watching Ed TV, a fine example of American film from the mid-nineties.

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Day 6 - Sun 8.29.10
THE ONLY LIVING PERUVIAN FLUTE BAND IN PARACAS

So we've spent the last 5 days dreaming, hoping, wondering when we would come across that elusive species of street musician: the Peruvian Flute Band. One so rarely has the chance to enjoy their insuff... I mean, beautiful music in the tunnels of the New York subway system. Indeed, it is quite rare that one would be acosted... i mean, graced by the angelic chirping of their sweet, sweet wooden flutes during the morning rush through Grand Central. So you might imagine our surprise when, just as we sat down for a beer on the waterfront of Paracas, one such ensemble magically appeared out of thin air and proceeded to annoy... I mean, serenade us for the next hour and a half until we reluctantly gave up 2 soles. Did you know that Paul Simon and The Beatles, among others, where stealing their material from Peruvian flute bands all along? We were utterly shocked when they broke out into a stirring rendition of "Hey Jude," and appalled that their authorship has been denied for so long. Shame on you, Paul.

Enough silliness. So today we arrived in Paracas, and within about 25 seconds had ourselves a room and two seats on a guided tour of the Islas Ballestas (according the Lonely Planet, the "poor man's Galapagos") and the Reserva Nacional de Paracas, a nature reserve featuring the areas amazing beaches, sand dunes and marshes. After a lovely drink and dinner on the boardwalk (please read the previous paragraph for details) we retired to our rooms with the promise of a hot shower.

Twenty minutes later, we sat on the bed, wet, with teeth clattering and tempers flaring. Peruvians lie. Or at least they do in Paracas.

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Day 5 - Sat 8.28.10

HOSANNA PUCUSANA

First up: a boat ride from our new fisherman friend Luis, through the harbor of Pucusana and out to view the wildlife. Sea lions, tons o' birds, jagged cliffs, awesome stuff. The sea lions (lobos marinos, as they are called) can be seen lounging in the back of this picture. Don´t be fooled by the placid smiles on our faces - we were deathly afraid of the boat smashing on the rocks...

Side note: there's nothing to see in Chilca. We went there. I don't know why. There are three muddy lagoons. Ringing in our ears during our brief visit were the wise words of our good friend Patrick Levin, also in reference to a visit to a pool of water with alleged healing properties:
¨that sucked more than I thought it would suck.¨ The redeeming part of the trip was the ride in the mototaxi with SpiderBatMan. Examine picture closely. Yes, it is SpiderBatMan.

And here we are on a cliff. Aren't we cute?

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Day 4 - Fri 8.27.10

EAT YOUR HEART OUT, ANTICUCHOS

We succesfully navigated the informal bus system that exists in Peru - flag it down, hop on - to get from Lima to Pucusana. A long ride out of town on a minibus, then waiting at the side of the Highway Panamericana for a bus to stop. 2 easy hours down the coast through the desert-like terrain of coastal Peru, then a mini-minibus from the highway to the coastal town of Pucusana. It´s a small fishing town with a beautiful harbor behind some giant rocky cliffs. We stayed up on a hill overlooking the whole thing at Hospeje Mirador, a guesthouse run by grandmother Elisabeth with the assistance of grandson Gustavo. Very cool people.

Dinner: some awesome grilled steak (¨anticuchos¨) and potatoes near the central square. As we were eating them, Joseph remarked to Victoria: ¨are we sure this isn't cow heart?¨ Victoria replied, ¨No, I don't think so.¨ However, Joseph had read the guidebook carefully. See the title of the day above for the startling revelation, confirmed by our hosts at the Mirador.